Yeah...The Movie Junkie Loses Alright

I've been failing miserably big time. I know there should be NO EXCUSES, but...with the beginning of school, my kid starting art class, and myself trying to start a new little home business, we've been living on Pizza and Hamburgers. And I don't know what is up with me and the Hamburgers. It's like I can't get enough. Unfortunately, I am so picky about my Hamburgers. I don't always like how the restaurant makes them. But yet...I still smother them in ketchup and eat them.

Bleh.

I leave for Universal in a couple of weeks. I am going to have to face the consequences when I get down there. I just might have to live up to my horrible actions and poor choices. It will hurt me, but I have no one else to blame. It will kill me, if I can't fit into the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride. I heard the seats are pretty tight and they do turn people away.

It will crush me if I'm turned away to wait on the sidelines, drowning my sorrows in Butterbeer while my husband and kids ride. But, it will be a lesson learned.

Not to set myself up to another challenge and fail, but I'm seriously thinking about doing some sort of crash, liquid diet. Just to lose 10-15 lbs in the next 24 days. At least then I can say "I tried". It might have been the lazy, crazy way, but "I tried."

Let me think about. A crash diet is sounding pretty good right about now. Sounds desperate, but good. You know what else sounds good right now? A really good burger. Sigh.

Why Do I Challenge Myself?

Forget the 30 day Challenge. I'm just destined to fail when I set up a challenge for myself. Why do I do that? It's stupid. At least for me it is. For other people, maybe they just can't turn away a good challenge. They here a challenge or set one up for themselves and right away, like Barney from How I Met Your Mother, it is "Challenge Excepted!"

But me? Let's be honest...I'm a bit of a rebel. You challenge me, I'm gonna go against the grain in any way possible.

Plus..well...we went out to eat a few times and I just can't say no and just sit back and eat a salad. What's the point? Might as well stay home.

The first time we went out to eat was right after I set the challenge. We went to Wal-mart (yeah...I know...the characters in that place!!) for school shopping, then decided to try Chili's since we don't have a Chili's near us. And I wanted to be good. I really did. I didn't want to order appetizers...but...my husband and kids want it and deep down inside, I really wanted it too.

I don't know about anyone else, but when you order those combo appetizer platters and the waiter sets it down...does your whole family just attack it? Like before the waiter can even let go of the plate? Like you've been starving for days? Like Piranahs on a cow crossing a Jungle River?

Just us? Are we the only pigs that do this?

Anyway...two days later, we headed out to Ikea and since it was in the same area as a restaurant called On the Border, we decided to try that place too. This time we didn't get the appetizer!!! Yay Me!! But I did get the Margarita...and dessert. So..Boo Me. : (

But here is what I have been good at. I've been very active the past week!! I will give myself credit for that. I might not have walked the treadmill or biked the bike, but I was busting my butt.

For starters, have you been in Ikea lately?!? That's a workout in itself. You pretty much walk the length of Sweden just to get through all the showrooms. It was a hike and a half in that store. And since we weren't browsing and had an idea of what we wanted, it was a straight walk. No stopping and looking. Not much anyway.

And I've been cleaning. Ever hear of Spring Cleaning? I do Fall Cleaning. See. Told you I was a rebel going against the grain. I don't know what it is about kids going back to school that makes me run around and clean. Not that it looks it. My house gets destroyed again in less than 5 hours.

And walking. I walked one mile yesterday. Two miles today. There is no bus the first week. So, if it is not raining, the kids and I walk it. I highly recommend walking with children. Just strolling through the neighborhood with them. They love it. It's great exercise and a great bonding experience. I cherish our walks and talks.

Yesterday was my weigh in day. In all honesty, I completely forgot. With the chaos of school and how many paper towels each kid has to bring in and who didn't finish their summer homework, I completely forgot to weigh myself.

I should weigh myself today. I really don't want to. But I should. Maybe I'll wait until next Thursday.

Gained. So, Now a 30 Day Challenge.

So, I gained this week. 1 lb. to be exact. Kinda stinks, but I knew it was coming. I mean, first of all, I ate my way through a hurricane. And then, last night, dinner was on Mongo. If you are in construction or have people in construction, you know what Mongo is. You gather up scraps and pieces of this and that and cash it in to be recycled. Apparently the cash back for copper is through the roof, so when my husband got his share, he came home and said "Let's order out tonight!" and thus the phrase "Dinner is on Mongo". And boy did I eat dinner. I ate a ton of garlic knots and the best Chicken Cutlet Parm Hero that is out there in the free world...then got sick as a dog.

I really must stop messing with my stomach like this. So not fair to it. Must be torture, making it eat Fiber One Bread and hard boiled eggs one day, then slamming it with greasy balls of dough and deep fried chicken cutlets smothered in melted cheese and stacked on a toasty roll. No wonder I got sick.

I was hoping that by getting sick, I would somehow crossed into Bulimia land unintentionally and lose a lb. But...no such luck. And I'm not trying to turn Bulimia into a joke. I know it's a serious disorder, but all us fatties have those moments, like when we get the flu or stomach virus where we are grateful for hugging the bucket, with our head in it. No?

Anyway, I was upset with myself and depressed...but I decided to look at myself in a different light. Look at the positives. For starters, I am still 19 lbs. less than I was on January 1st. Not much, but definitely in a better spot than I was.

And I'm more active than I was two months ago. This is a good thing.

And I have not had a cigarette in almost a year. This is a GREAT thing.

So, over all...I'm doing all right. People might not see it when they look at me. I'm still over weight and need to drop several mighty pounds, but I am in a healthier spot than I was months ago.

Today is the start of a new month. September 1st. How hard can it be to go 30 days with eating right and walking every day? There are people who do it every day. People who do it for a living or their career depends on how they look.

One month. That's all I'm asking for myself. 30 days. Think it can be done? I know it can be done. The question is...do I have the will power? I had the will power to quit a smoking habit that haunted me since I was 12 years old (yes! 12!! It was the 80's! I wanted to be cool like Ponyboy and Johnny Cade. Shoot me.)

Do I have the will power to say no to most foods? Truth be told, I LOVE FOOD! I mean, I really appreciate it. I appreciate how flavors and textures work together. How creative dishes can be. How taking your time to cook it can get it just right. It's not about eating. It's about the artistic side of food.

Asking me to stop eating the good stuff is like asking Steven Spielberg to stop having anything to do with movies.

But 30 days...that's all I'm asking of myself. Just to see if I can do it. Plus, in 30 days I leave for this Oktoberfest weekend that will be serving up all kinds of good stuff and I just cannot turn away a good bratwurst or knockwurst or anywurst. You just can't make me. It won't work.

So...30 days. That's my challenge to myself. Kind of like AA's motto: one day at a time. I'm going to take it one month at a time.

If I do this...if I make it...then I will re-evaluate my challenge for the month of October (which includes a trip to Orlando and there's NO way in HELL I'm WWIE...especially in Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the whole reason why we are going to begin with.)

30 days. Starting today. Here I go.

(a quick side note...and I posted this in the comments section of www.ramblingsofamoviejunkie.blogspot.com Not sure what is going on and if it is my computer or blogspot, but my posts seem to be coming out all run on and smushed together like one big run on sentence and makes it hard to read. So please bare with me and if you do read this, I thank you from the bottom of my cholesterol filled heart.)