Yeah...The Movie Junkie Loses Alright

I've been failing miserably big time. I know there should be NO EXCUSES, but...with the beginning of school, my kid starting art class, and myself trying to start a new little home business, we've been living on Pizza and Hamburgers. And I don't know what is up with me and the Hamburgers. It's like I can't get enough. Unfortunately, I am so picky about my Hamburgers. I don't always like how the restaurant makes them. But yet...I still smother them in ketchup and eat them.

Bleh.

I leave for Universal in a couple of weeks. I am going to have to face the consequences when I get down there. I just might have to live up to my horrible actions and poor choices. It will hurt me, but I have no one else to blame. It will kill me, if I can't fit into the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride. I heard the seats are pretty tight and they do turn people away.

It will crush me if I'm turned away to wait on the sidelines, drowning my sorrows in Butterbeer while my husband and kids ride. But, it will be a lesson learned.

Not to set myself up to another challenge and fail, but I'm seriously thinking about doing some sort of crash, liquid diet. Just to lose 10-15 lbs in the next 24 days. At least then I can say "I tried". It might have been the lazy, crazy way, but "I tried."

Let me think about. A crash diet is sounding pretty good right about now. Sounds desperate, but good. You know what else sounds good right now? A really good burger. Sigh.

Why Do I Challenge Myself?

Forget the 30 day Challenge. I'm just destined to fail when I set up a challenge for myself. Why do I do that? It's stupid. At least for me it is. For other people, maybe they just can't turn away a good challenge. They here a challenge or set one up for themselves and right away, like Barney from How I Met Your Mother, it is "Challenge Excepted!"

But me? Let's be honest...I'm a bit of a rebel. You challenge me, I'm gonna go against the grain in any way possible.

Plus..well...we went out to eat a few times and I just can't say no and just sit back and eat a salad. What's the point? Might as well stay home.

The first time we went out to eat was right after I set the challenge. We went to Wal-mart (yeah...I know...the characters in that place!!) for school shopping, then decided to try Chili's since we don't have a Chili's near us. And I wanted to be good. I really did. I didn't want to order appetizers...but...my husband and kids want it and deep down inside, I really wanted it too.

I don't know about anyone else, but when you order those combo appetizer platters and the waiter sets it down...does your whole family just attack it? Like before the waiter can even let go of the plate? Like you've been starving for days? Like Piranahs on a cow crossing a Jungle River?

Just us? Are we the only pigs that do this?

Anyway...two days later, we headed out to Ikea and since it was in the same area as a restaurant called On the Border, we decided to try that place too. This time we didn't get the appetizer!!! Yay Me!! But I did get the Margarita...and dessert. So..Boo Me. : (

But here is what I have been good at. I've been very active the past week!! I will give myself credit for that. I might not have walked the treadmill or biked the bike, but I was busting my butt.

For starters, have you been in Ikea lately?!? That's a workout in itself. You pretty much walk the length of Sweden just to get through all the showrooms. It was a hike and a half in that store. And since we weren't browsing and had an idea of what we wanted, it was a straight walk. No stopping and looking. Not much anyway.

And I've been cleaning. Ever hear of Spring Cleaning? I do Fall Cleaning. See. Told you I was a rebel going against the grain. I don't know what it is about kids going back to school that makes me run around and clean. Not that it looks it. My house gets destroyed again in less than 5 hours.

And walking. I walked one mile yesterday. Two miles today. There is no bus the first week. So, if it is not raining, the kids and I walk it. I highly recommend walking with children. Just strolling through the neighborhood with them. They love it. It's great exercise and a great bonding experience. I cherish our walks and talks.

Yesterday was my weigh in day. In all honesty, I completely forgot. With the chaos of school and how many paper towels each kid has to bring in and who didn't finish their summer homework, I completely forgot to weigh myself.

I should weigh myself today. I really don't want to. But I should. Maybe I'll wait until next Thursday.

Gained. So, Now a 30 Day Challenge.

So, I gained this week. 1 lb. to be exact. Kinda stinks, but I knew it was coming. I mean, first of all, I ate my way through a hurricane. And then, last night, dinner was on Mongo. If you are in construction or have people in construction, you know what Mongo is. You gather up scraps and pieces of this and that and cash it in to be recycled. Apparently the cash back for copper is through the roof, so when my husband got his share, he came home and said "Let's order out tonight!" and thus the phrase "Dinner is on Mongo". And boy did I eat dinner. I ate a ton of garlic knots and the best Chicken Cutlet Parm Hero that is out there in the free world...then got sick as a dog.

I really must stop messing with my stomach like this. So not fair to it. Must be torture, making it eat Fiber One Bread and hard boiled eggs one day, then slamming it with greasy balls of dough and deep fried chicken cutlets smothered in melted cheese and stacked on a toasty roll. No wonder I got sick.

I was hoping that by getting sick, I would somehow crossed into Bulimia land unintentionally and lose a lb. But...no such luck. And I'm not trying to turn Bulimia into a joke. I know it's a serious disorder, but all us fatties have those moments, like when we get the flu or stomach virus where we are grateful for hugging the bucket, with our head in it. No?

Anyway, I was upset with myself and depressed...but I decided to look at myself in a different light. Look at the positives. For starters, I am still 19 lbs. less than I was on January 1st. Not much, but definitely in a better spot than I was.

And I'm more active than I was two months ago. This is a good thing.

And I have not had a cigarette in almost a year. This is a GREAT thing.

So, over all...I'm doing all right. People might not see it when they look at me. I'm still over weight and need to drop several mighty pounds, but I am in a healthier spot than I was months ago.

Today is the start of a new month. September 1st. How hard can it be to go 30 days with eating right and walking every day? There are people who do it every day. People who do it for a living or their career depends on how they look.

One month. That's all I'm asking for myself. 30 days. Think it can be done? I know it can be done. The question is...do I have the will power? I had the will power to quit a smoking habit that haunted me since I was 12 years old (yes! 12!! It was the 80's! I wanted to be cool like Ponyboy and Johnny Cade. Shoot me.)

Do I have the will power to say no to most foods? Truth be told, I LOVE FOOD! I mean, I really appreciate it. I appreciate how flavors and textures work together. How creative dishes can be. How taking your time to cook it can get it just right. It's not about eating. It's about the artistic side of food.

Asking me to stop eating the good stuff is like asking Steven Spielberg to stop having anything to do with movies.

But 30 days...that's all I'm asking of myself. Just to see if I can do it. Plus, in 30 days I leave for this Oktoberfest weekend that will be serving up all kinds of good stuff and I just cannot turn away a good bratwurst or knockwurst or anywurst. You just can't make me. It won't work.

So...30 days. That's my challenge to myself. Kind of like AA's motto: one day at a time. I'm going to take it one month at a time.

If I do this...if I make it...then I will re-evaluate my challenge for the month of October (which includes a trip to Orlando and there's NO way in HELL I'm WWIE...especially in Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the whole reason why we are going to begin with.)

30 days. Starting today. Here I go.

(a quick side note...and I posted this in the comments section of www.ramblingsofamoviejunkie.blogspot.com Not sure what is going on and if it is my computer or blogspot, but my posts seem to be coming out all run on and smushed together like one big run on sentence and makes it hard to read. So please bare with me and if you do read this, I thank you from the bottom of my cholesterol filled heart.)

What I do Best: Rambling

Just some Ramblings while I WWIE (watch what I eat, because I do not diet!). It's what I do best. Ramble.

First of all and perhaps my most important and honest declaration: MUST GET OFF BUTT!! Seriously. I have not done my daily walk or ride in days. I will admit that I got quite the work out preparing for Hurricane Irene. Like dirty, disgusting, grimy, sweaty work out. Cleaning a garage out to make room for the outdoor stuff is nasty work. And moving the outdoor stuff from yard to garage is even nastier work. I was sweaty, filthy, bitten up by mosquitoes, feared for my life in case I saw a snake, and at one point I'm pretty sure I touched a slug. That's enough to get the cardiac system going.

But now there is no more excuses. I MUST WALK! I MUST BIKE!! Plus, I got this really cool twisty thingy....it looks like a Frisbee. You stand on it and twist. I'll be twisting...twisting...twisting the night awaaaaaayyyyyy. Hey, remember Rod Stewart sang that for the movie "Innerspace"? Martin Short is in the video. He's hilarious. Every time I hear that song Twisting the Night Away, I think of Martin Short and Innerspace. And then I think of Dennis Quaid. Because I looooooove Dennis Quaid. He's on my list. And yes, it's laminated.

Wow...that was a ramble within a ramble!

Next Ramble:

I love cheese. I really love cheese. And cheese can be a good thing when I WWIE. It goes with the whole dairy is good for you, no carb kinda way of thinking. But I tried Weight Watchers brand cheeses for little snacks. I must say...not bad at all. It ain't no gourmet, yummy, upper class, rich cheese. But it hits that cheese craving spot. Their string cheese is actually stringier than other brands. I especially like the smoked mozzarella one. It not only hits the cheese crave spot, but there's something about the smokiness that reminds me a bit of eating a good grilled piece of meat in a Pub.

But my favorite is the sliced Weight Watchers cheese. I put two slices on one side of a low fat tortilla and pop it in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Fold the tortilla over and I got a quesadilla. It's a great easey-peasey, no muss no fuss lunch that completely satisfies the grilled cheese monster in me.

Another Ramble. I admit, I miss things when I watch what I eat. I admit, it takes a ton of will power to say no to buttery pop corn when we have "Universal Family Movie Night" in preparation for our Universal Studios vacation. And things that I would never find appetizing are suddenly looking or smelling real good to me.

For example, here's a conversation from me and my husband last week:

I'm in the den, watching Jeopardy. I hear him rummaging around in the kitchen. Then a delicious scent wanders into the den. Something meaty and savory.

Me: What's you making in there?

Him: Nothing.

Me: No, really. What is it. It smells really good.

Him: Really. I'm not making anything.

Me: You're cooking something!!! What is it? I can smell it.

Him: Not cooking anything. Just...feeding...the dogs!

Yes, ladies and gents...dog food now smells awesome to me. Which is good to know because if I ever have to survive on a island with a volleyball and a Fed Ex crate of dog food....I'm good.

Final Rambling (and shameless plug):

The kids and I made these Cool Whip Cookies the other day. YUM!! You can read about it here: www.themoviejunkiecooks.blogspot.com . But here's something I didn't mention in that blog: I used Lite Cool Whip. It works. I think you can even use Fat Free. I'm gonna try that next time. So you can have your cookie and eat it too!!

Now, go and youtube Rod Stewart's Twisting the Night Away video and laugh at Martin Short dancing. And I guarantee you the song will be stuck in your head for days. I know it's already planted in mine.

Stress Eating

Thursdays are my own personal "weigh-in" days. So, last Thursday I was pretty happy. I was down another pound, making it a total of 20 pounds gone for the year. A slow process, mainly because I have not been faithful to WWIE, but still!! I am 20 lbs lighter than I was 8 months ago. So, that's a positive!!

Now, the negative: stress eating. I never really believed in that term "stress eating". I always felt it was a cop-out. But after going through Hurricane Irene, I will openly and honestly admit that potato chips, Milky Ways, Froot Loops, and a big ol' bottle of Prosecco was at the top of my "food for survival in a disaster" shopping list. And I ate those long hours of wind and rain away. I even ate Sour Patch Kids, which I really don't like, so if that's not stress eating, I don't know what is.

And when Hurricane Irene finally came and went, I opened the Prosecco and did some "stress relieving". Prosecco....YUM!!

But, today the sun is shining and we were some of the lucky ones. No down trees or power outage. Just a small flood in the basement. And a massive stomach ache and slight head ache from stress eating and stress relieving. Today is a new day. Back to WWIE and thinking and acting healthy.

I'm off to make one of my favorite appetite depressants: unsweetened Iced Tea with a lemon twist. Seriously, just take like 4-5 bags of tea, boil it in about 2 cups of water. Load up a 32 ounce over size water bottle or mug or jug or whatever with ice, the tea (minus the bags) and a slice of squeezed lemon. I LOVE THIS!!! The caffeine gives me energy. It hydrates me. It keeps me from going into STARVATION mode when I WWIE. And it's refreshing. Oh..and it makes me pee. A LOT!! (not that anyone needs to know this..but hey, we are talking about being fit and weight loss!)

Food Hangover

Is it possible to have a Food Hangover? I'm beginning to think it is. It's happened to me twice now, ever since I started watching what I eat. (Since I won't say the "d-word" and seem to say "Watching What I Eat" a lot, can I just trademark it? Call it WWIE? I think I will.)

So, since I am WWIEing and I do allow myself to indulge from time to time, when I over do it, I wake up the next morning with a Food Hangover. I feel sluggish, I have a head ache. My stomach is all kinds of messed up, and I just want to lay on the couch watching movie marathons and keep the curtains closed and the sunlight out.

Has this happened to anyone else who WWUE? (see what I did there?)

A couple of weeks ago, Hubby and I had a date night. Stopped at a local pub for a bite to eat. I tried to convince myself that I was good by eating a Chicken Caeser Salad instead of a big, greasy pub burger and fries...but who am I kidding? Those salads are not exactly healthy eating either. Plus, I shared a plate of fried calamari with Hubby. (Hey, it's sea food!! Sea Food=Healthy, no?)

Then, we went home. Watched some t.v. and around midnight got the stupid urge to pretend we are 18 again and order Domino's. First off, Domino's does not taste like it did back in the day. So, either their pizza making skills have become sucky over the past 20 years or I'm just getting older and they always sucked but I was too young (and stoned?) to realize it back in the day.

So, the pizza sucked. The boneless wings, which were really just breaded chunks of Chicken Ass and you had to put your own sauce on it, sucked. But...I went into carb and fat and calorie overload and wolfed it down anyway.

And the next morning? Oh, I was not in good shape. I did manage do to my daily walk on the treadmill...but that was all I did. All day. Food Hangover struck for the first time.

I told my hubby I had a Food Hangover. He told me there is no such thing and that I was crazy.

This past Sunday, I went to my BFF's house to help her celebrate her Great Aunt's 89th birthday. Very inspirational. This Birthday Lady is still on top of her game. Very spry. Still lives on her own. Still drives. Still in good shape for 89. Crap, she's in better shape than ME. I have no doubt she could out-run me.

And at this small, intimate dinner for this Lovely, Inspirational Lady who is someone we should all model ourselves after and thrive to be (healthy at almost 90), I ate. And ate. And ate some more.

I wanted to WWIE. I really did. I went there with the whole healthy mind frame. I even lugged a big ole' bottle of Poland Spring for the hour car ride there, telling myself over and over to fill up on the water so I won't eat as much.

I walked in and avoided the bowls of Doritos. So many times, I found myself inching towards the bowl, but I reminded myself that I was WWIE!!

The apps came out. Shrimp cocktail with this amazing cocktail sauce that the Birthday Lady made. I ate that because...hey! It's sea food!! Healthy!!

Stuffed Mushrooms that I made (you can find the recipe at my other blog: www.themoviejunkiecooks.blogspot.com. just look in the archives). Lots of butter and breadcrumbs and olive oil in those things. But I was good girl and didn't eat one. Ok...I don't eat mushrooms ever, so it really wasn't about being good.

Cherry tomatoes and mini mozzarella balls in a vinaigrette dressing. Good Lord I LOVE fresh mozzarella, but I actually amazed myself by not eating any. I filled myself up by eating some of the shrimp and drinking lots of wine. So proud of myself. What? Wine passes right through you. Plus it's made from grapes. It's a FRUIT when you think of it. (see how I convince myself of these things?)

Then dinner. Here's where it all falls apart for me.

First of all, I made Chicken Cutlet Parm at the Birthday Lady's request. And they were BIG cutlets. Breaded, fried, and smothered with slices of Mozzarella Cheese. I asked my hubby to please split a Cutlet with me and he said no, he wanted his own piece. Greedy bastard. So, I ate a whole HUGE Cutlet. At least my Marinara Sauce was low in fat and healthy.

And then there was my BFF's meal. An Amazing Pot Roast. Different Veggies on the side. Biscuits. And her Potato Pancakes. All at the request of her Great Aunt.

Let's talk about those Potato Pancakes. As Amazing as her other stuff was (the pot roast!!! YUM!!), I was in Carb Overload with the Potato Pancakes. I went into Carb Overdose with the Potato Pancakes. They were so awesome! Fluffy and Oniony and Potato-y. Just good, good, good!!

And of course, I bought some home with me and continued snacking on them while watching True Blood.

And the next day? Yep. Food Hangover. Strikes again.

(and this is where I stopped blogging because I thought I was getting dizzy, only to notice my pool water getting choppy, my dogs suddenly perky, and my lights swaying...EARTHQUAKE!!! Haven't felt an Earthquake since the 80's!!! This just doesn't happen here!!!)

Diet is a Four Letter Word

I hate the word "Diet". It sounds so...final. No Good Food Ever!! No Eating Because You Enjoy It Ever!!!

Bleh. When I hear the word "Diet" I envision a long walk down a cold hallway with a priest reciting prayers behind me as I walk to my doom which is to spend all of eternity eating nothing but bland, no carb, no sugar, no salt, no fat, no flavor foods.

To say you are on a "Diet" seems so shameful. If someone offers you a big, honking piece of Ice Cream cake at a child's birthday party and you say "Oh no thank you, I'm on a diet" it just kind of marks you. Makes everyone know "Oh look! She's admitting she's fat! She's on a DIET! Well good for her, but we all know she's gonna fail." Funny how diet and shame seem to go hand in hand for me...but Fat and Shame do not.

My Dad called last night. After some small talk, I told him I had lost a tiny bit of weight, I'm exercising daily, and pretty much feel better about myself. And then he asked "Are you on a diet?"

Ugh. I almost groaned. That dirty, dirty, filthy, no good word.

But I just responded "No. I'm just watching what I eat."

And it's the truth. Because I'm not on a diet. I do not fill my days and my belly with bland, tasteless food. I'm just more aware of what I'm eating. And let's be honest, if you go to your favorite restaurant because they serve the best burgers ever, you are not going to order a salad. You are going to get the burger.

And of course I have my cheat day. Thursday was my cheat day. I had lost four pounds for the week, so I celebrated. With pizza. And corn pops. And oreos. And an ice cream sandwich. I seriously doubt anyone would call that a Diet.

But yesterday, I was back to "watching what I eat." And this included one of my favorite new snacks. Reduced Fat Peanut Butter sandwiched between two slices of Fiber One Multi-Grain Bread. I LOVE this!! And for some reason it really satisfies my love for sweet peanut butter treats like chocolate ice cream with melted peanut butter or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The bread is slightly sweet and I love the texture. And I can't tell the difference between the Reduced Fat Peanut Butter and the normal one. So...YUM!!

I also had a Turkey-Swiss Burger last night that was really good! Grilled up the Turkey Burger, smeared one of those little triangles of Laughing Cow Swiss Cheese on a slice of Arnold's Thin Bread/Bun thingies, a dab of ketchup...and it was really good!! Tasted just like a good fast food burger. Totally satisfied that craving for a crappy McWhopper.

So, not actually giving in to my cravings. But I'm not on a Diet either.